when that tear slips out and rolls down your cheeks, KNOW that Allah values it. he counts it and comforts you with his mercy. why cry when no-one cares? flip it around and KNOW that Allah cares, TRUST him, he knows you better than yourself. you dont even have to EXPLAIN anything to him. you can just look up and smile because he knows everything already.

peace my soul. PEACE.

without reading ahead, What does this PHOTO say to you? SHARE it in the comments

Action items :

Connecting is always number 1: what does this picture say to you?

See behind the scenes, what did this look like before?

dont forget to Comment like and share.

1. without reading ahead, What does this PHOTO say to you? let me know in the comments

2. Awareness: It seems obvious to others, and comments like ‘can’t you see?’, and ‘its not that hard, just pick one way, trust Allah and keep going’, are usually are flying left right and centre. As innocent as it may seem, confusing and hurtful is how they come off, making a person think in a way that becomes self-destructive; “Maybe its right in front of me, everyone is right and I must be wrong. i must be so dumb that I cant even see it. WHY cant I be as simple and black and white as they want me to be. How stupid and ugly can i get; that’s why they are right and I am wrong. in order for me to be simpler, and likeable, and ‘normal’, STOP thinking in this way, i DONT actually feel the confusion, I don’t actually feel the emptiness and the anxiety, and I certainly DON’T feel the fulfillment in life because of  myself, everything is my fault. BE simple.”

This photo displays what Sophia feels often; that the light, or the answer is all around her, but she cant see it. Perhaps everything is clear. She  wishes to god that the answer was one simple thing, that she could put in a few sentences. Her parents, friends and everyone around her is frustrated by the complexity in her thoughts, they cant figure out for the life of them why she makes things so complicated. But flashbacks rule her life, the past holds her in place, while the future begs to pull her out. So she stays staggering in the centre as years pass her by. Emotions keep her body from functioning properly and they get blocked in certain places. The comments and pressure from around her make her doubt herself, her life, the realities that she faces in her mind, the images smells and sounds that scratch at her insides. So she begins to hate herself. She lies to herself, she blames herself. She hates the sound of her crying, her attempts to make things better. She battles with herself trying to make sense of the truth she so vividly lives inside, yet the outside world makes her believe is wrong. And all bad things are her fault, she can turn her life around if she wishes. Sophia fell into a terrible habit because of her pain, she begin to fill in emptiness with an activity that became an addiction.

3. Help: i recently found an amazing emotional freedom technique that FINALLY worked for me, to work through emotions which i will share in the next photo-piece.

in the mean time, please enlighten yourself and anyone that is still wondering what INDY is about:

I recently got bashed down for starting this project, and had many people around me jump to conclusions, (because of the lack of knowledge that they have) that i have a mental illness that affects me and the way i act, speak and think; therefore i should not be trusted and neither should my words be taken as truthful since i don’t know what im saying. CORRECTION: i do not suffer from a mental illness, alhamdullilah! EVEN if I did, I would be proud and would not feel shame in mentioning it, as no one should because it is noones fault, it is the Qadr of Allah!  i would have named this project ‘mental illness awareness’ if that was the case.

I do suffer from other things that i will make public in my peices,  I started this project to raise awareness about people who suffer from ‘psychiatric vulnerabilities’ because of past trauma that has stained their lives. i.e people who have suffered from emotional pain, or trauma, that has not been healed or solved, to the degree that it affects their daily thoughts, core beliefs, actions, decisions, speech, mannerisms, attitude, sleeping habits, etc, and the pain makes them fall into addictions, self-mutilating behaviours, suicidal thoughts, anxiety disorders, insomnia etc. As well as physically manifests itself in their bodies as illnesses such as fibromyalgia, MS, chronic bodily pains, tendon, bone and muscle pain and stiffness, nausea and vomiting, migraines and headaches, bowel and digestive system irritability, ulcers, and the list can go on forever!

The project is to:

1. Provide a place to belong in, where we can speak publicly and gain the support we need
2. Photographically raise awareness in parents and family members of muslimahs who suffer so that they stop making the mistakes that have usually led the pain to escalate
3.Create quality art, in film and photographic pieces that reach out to the public in a century where graphic media is emminent and the most popular form of communication and inspiration for all ages
4. Explain psychiatric vulnerabilities, personal sister stories and educate the (mostly) ignorant muslim community about mental health
5. Link to help by sisters and individuals that i have found helpful, and share my own emotional freedom techniques to heal the pain or learn to cope and live healthier with it
6. Feel the love, hope, healing, and motivation to keep living as i am not dead yet, that this project brings to my own life.

4. Action items :

Connecting is always number 1: what does this picture say to you?

See behind the scenes, what did this look like before?

dont forget to Comment like and share.

Broken - ”Son of Adam, you are nothing but days. And whenever a day passes by, a part of you passes away. [Hasan al-Basri]“

1. YOU: without reading ahead, What does this PHOTO say to you?

2. Awareness: On the outside, a person may look perfectly present, or alive. But inside they are completely ‘broken’. Bits and peices of themselves that they havent found yet, and bits that they cant attach together cause them to feel extremely distant and out of place in their surroundings. The deep desire to either perish or either become one is due cause for violent internal emotional storms, that only make them break further.

A common thing for family and close ones to say is: ‘everyone goes through tests, keep your trust in Allah, whatever happens, happens for a reason, so be patient, there are many others in worse conditions than yourself’. As true as this is, it may be correct to motivate a normal person that is generally going through a rough time. However if said to a trauma victim, it immediately invalidates everything they are and everything they are fighting within themselves, causing them severe confusion.

This in iself is quite dangerous since the person becomes more and more enclosed and broken within themselves and comes to the conclusion that something must be innately wrong with them as people. Numbness and distance become the norm. This is when the endless cycle of questioning themselves begins; “Why have i been going through this for years? Why is this pain lingering within me and why cant i get rid of it? There must be something wrong with me. I mean I’m such a loser, i cant even get over this and start living. My traits are pretty hatable, i better fix this, or no one is ever going to be able to love me or live with me! There is no reason to feel so down all the time…But wait, i obviously feel down for a reason, im not just making this up. oh i must be totally messed up!”

The effects of trauma in some people is recurring. The hurt and the pain is recurring, many times a day, a trauma victim will ‘relive’ the pain that they once felt. They are super talented, and intelligent people, yet they distance from people, zone out, become emotionally isolated, and silent people that are physically present but not there, feeling extremely anxious and out of place. These are all dangerous but regularly seen eventual reactions. The person may find ways to diffuse the resulting loneliness, often falling into self-destructive behaviours, or becoming deafeningly involved in some activity, habit, hobby or behavior.

Many trauma victims over time develop an ability to use varying combinations of naturally occurring responses depending on the nature of the triggering circumstances to deal with their own inner emptiness. This reactionary nature becomes their lifestyle. Feeling broken? If it has been with you for more than a few years, there is certainly something that needs to be done about it, and there is nothing wrong with that. Embrace it! accept the fact that there is something that needs healing. You can start your healing on your own. You are worth your own love.

3.  Action items :

Connecting is always number 1: what does this picture say to you?

See behind the scenes, what did this look like before?

dont be lazy, Comment like and share.

Is your time running out? Or will your time ever come?

1. YOU: Comment: Connecting is Always number 1: without reading ahead, What does this PHOTO say to you?

2. Awareness: Sometimes it feels like we’re losing time. To someone who has racing thoughts, it feels as though all things collide, and there is no room for more, there is no order or extra place to put them away. These thoughts become a driving force and mute out the need for sleep, food, and simple functionality such as driving, conversing with people, or trying to remain consciously ’present’ where you are become extremely difficult. These thoughts have branches, and roots, and more and more branches, they lead to forever and go back to the beginning and intertwine everything in the middle. never ending.

Racing thoughts refers to the rapid thought patterns that often occur in manic, hypomanic, or mixed episodes. While racing thoughts are most commonly described in people with bipolar disorder, they are also common with anxiety disorders. They may be experienced as background or take over a person’s consciousness. Thoughts, voices might be zooming through one’s mind as a repetitive pattern of voice or of pressure without any associated “sound”. It is a very overwhelming and irritating feeling, and can result in losing track of time.

Generally, racing thoughts are described by an individual who has had an episode as an event where the mind uncontrollably brings up random thoughts and memories and switches between them very quickly. Sometimes they are related, as one thought leads to another; other times they are completely random. A person suffering from an episode of racing thoughts has no control over his or her train of thought and it stops them from focusing on one topic or prevents sleeping.

The worst thing that can happen is when a person is left by themselves to suffer with these thoughts. Or is told that they need to ‘be realistic’  or not ‘think about what you cant change because there is no point in thinking’.What they dont understand is that for some, this type of thinking becomes a pattern due to lifestyle. Its dangerous, and serious. Why would someone become lost in their thoughts to such a degree? Time never ends, the desire to sleep and forget everything is a temporary escape from themselves. but really, where can you run to escape from yourself?

There is this never-ending desire, this fire within us to do something before time runs out. But do we hold all of what we can do within our hands? Why do all these thoughts lead us to think that we will be like this forever, and age without a solution? Is it because we are not doing anything to feel worthy enough?  Or is it because we are quickly ending without a purpose to grow?

Action items :

Connecting is always number 1: what does this picture say to you?

See behind the scenes, what did this look like before?

dont forget to Comment like and share.